Last week ended up being a thought-provoking week on the topic of judging people without knowing the individual. I thought of the age-old idiom of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes before judging them. As a society, we seem to be getting further away from this sentiment and are even quicker to judge based on very little knowledge. As a person with Parkinson’s (PWP), it is frequently top of mind. Let me explain.
My book club met this month to discuss “The Tattooist of Auschwitz”. The story essentially is about survival in a concentration camp as well as finding love and hope in a horrendous situation. It is hard to know how each of us would react to survive until you walk in those shoes. As it is with most holocaust books, the discussion eventually ends up being how a group of people can hate another so much when they really don’t know them as individuals. Unfortunately, the question is difficult for 12 women in Phoenix, AZ to answer. Also, unfortunately, it is increasingly apparent that hatred of minorities and a feeling of superiority is on the rise again. Some are judging based on religion/race/culture/place of origin instead of getting to know the individual.
Later in the week I took a bike ride. As I was passing a walker, I yelled out “on your left”. After two attempts, I noticed she was older and had ear buds in her ears. I yelled louder. She turned around and yelled some very unpolite words at me – very unpolite. I was shaken. I was executing the proper bike protocol, yet she was lashing out at me. What should I do? I wanted to turn around and understand where that hatred came from. She didn’t even know me. However, I just went about my bike ride. The encounter did propel me to finish in a record time though! Upon reflection, I probably scared her, and she was reacting to that versus me as an individual. At least, that is what I hope.
As PWP we are constantly aware of how we are perceived by others. Are people judging before they know us as individuals? Do they think we are drunk when we waver or slur or are slow? Do they assume we are unproductive? Do they understand our struggle with anxiety and depression?
Last week was a good refresher for me. It reminded me that I and others can work on being more empathetic and less quick to judge. We all should walk a mile in someone else’s shoes to understand the individual better.
I’d like to hear from you. Please leave comments below.
Since being diagnosed with PD, I have often thought about how other people will and do judge me. Just because someone looks a certain way, you cannot determine their mindset, their pain or their feelings. Walking in someone’s shoes is a very good way to say that we all must be more open-minded. Do not take for granted what you or anyone else might be experiencing at any time.